Lost in Translation

As the title of this blog post indicates, I missed something. As the picture indicates, there was some yelling involved. Not by 3 black ladies(thank goodness)if it was, I would have been more concerned. Instead I got yelled at not by 1, but 2 guys from the group I was riding with on Sunday. However, in defense of myself as well as the guys who yelled at me, there was an important piece of information about the ride that got, you guessed it, lost in translation.

First, in order to catch everybody up to speed, I need to give a bit of back story. A few of my readers know that in my past I was a relatively competitive cyclist and in the last few years I've let myself and fitness slide and am now a much larger version of the former me. Anyhow, now that I am living in the Netherlands and am able to ride more, I have taken every opportunity to do so. With that opportunity I decided to join a local cycling club called LRTV Swift. It is a cool club, has a nice clubhouse, has nice members, and more importantly they have people that I can ride with. So it has been great to know that there is a schedule of rides available. One of those rides is called, De Haarlemmermeertraining, and it takes place every Sunday in February. I missed

last Sunday only because I forgot that the Dutch are very punctual and if the ride is a 10Am ride, that means that at precisely 10Am the wheels are rolling. Well, at 10Am last Sunday I was putting on my shoe covers and by the time I started my sprint down the path to catch up the group was gone and I had no idea where they went. So, I went on a nice ride by myself but was determined to make the next ride with the group.

Sunday rolled around and I knew that in order not to relive the previous Sunday of being left behind I decided that I would show up to the SWIFT clubhuis early and decided that 9:30Am would be fine. I arrived on time, went in got a cup of coffee, said "Goede Morgen" to a couple of guys that responded to my salutation with a blank stare. I brushed it off and figured that the warmth I felt was a result of their lack of coffee, my 3days worth of beard, my accent, the fact that the sun hasn't made a presence in about 4 months, they were wishing they were in church, or maybe that's how the Dutch welcome complete strangers. Anyhow, as the morning progressed more and more cyclists showed up and my "goede morgen's" were met with a similarly warm reception. Finally, a familiar face arrived, Ruben. He is one of the first cyclists I met at the club and he is always quick to offer a hello. We said hello and I went back to sipping my coffee. As 10am approached, a cyclist dressed in black stood up on a chair and starts yelling...............something, something, something, something, uhhh, something, something, uhhh, something, something, something. I sat there and was able to understand a couple of things.......as a group, steady, together, as a group. OK, cool, no problem. Another guy, who is the club bike shop sponsor decides to add his 2cents.......it sounded like this, something, something, something, hahahhaahaaa. Cool, as a group, steady, together, as a group. 10AM we were on the roads.

Without exaggeration this ride was the biggest group ride I have been on in at least 10 years and although I lived in San Diego and riding groups are large there too, I never rode with them. So this ride was a great experience. It felt really comfortable. I was happy. The obstacles weren't much different than any other group ride experiences, traffic, poles in the middle of the road(delineating traffic), two lane bike paths crammed with a 120 person group, all very familiar to me. I chatted with a guy, Klaas, who made a comment about my fenders(spatborden) and my bike. We chatted for a little while and I found out he owns a bike shop and has his own bike brand, Vusolo.

I eventually made my way up to the front of the group and was riding comfortably when I heard a noise from one of my spatborden.....front or rear was irrelevant, it was an irritating noise. I made my way to the back of the pack so I could stop and inspect what may be causing the noise, I diagnosed it, made the noise stop and hopped back on my bike to give chase. I caught back on to the group but at the back of, at this point an 80 or 90 person pack on a 2 lane bike path, is pretty stressful. Quickly I made the decision to make my way back up to the front of the group. I meandered my way up the left side of the pack and as soon as I got to the front I saw a small group of 6 guys up the road a little way and they were riding a nicely moving paceline, so I decided that I might as well keep the momentum going and ride up to them..........."something, something, something, F**k, F**k,something, something, something, BACK HERE!, something, F**k!" is all I heard and then I felt a hand grabbing my jersey pocket and this is where it gets interesting.....and again for those of you who have known me for a while, you know I am not a big fan altercation because altercations have so many options for response. So, my first response was "What the F**K are you grabbing me for? What the F**K is your problem?" Now keep in mind that the guy who was yelling at me is at best 150 pounds and 6'3, I am pretty sure when he grabbed me it moved him more than it moved me so I found a small sense of humor at what this whole interaction looked like. I also recognized the guy as the shop owning sponsor, and as with any system there is a leader and there are followers.......he is a leader. So, at his command to "come back here!" I had no choice. But, as I was just coming back to the front of the group I feel another grab on my left leg and I hear a person yelling "something, something, something, SWIFT, something!" I said calmly in response, "what the F**k is the problem with you people? There is a group of 6 guys up the road and I want to go ride with them."

This was met with "oh, you speak English?" naturally I responded, "yes, I do, and I can only understand minimal Dutch." This guy was a bit more calm at this point, and introduced himself as "Henk, the president of the club." Cool, I know how to make a good impression. Anyhow, Henk informed me that he and the other man will decide when people can "ride" and that in the interest of safety it is only after a certain point. Ahhhh, I asked Henk if that was the announcement he made prior to the ride upon his chair.....and it was confirmed that "steady,together,as a group" was only part of the announcement and the "something,something's" that I heard was actually "we will decide when you ride" and that after a certain point of the ride it will be a "free-for-all". Nice. Curiosity got the better of me and I asked Henk about the guys who were up the road and he let me know that they had to go home early and were allowed to ride up the road to make a turn that the rest of the group wasn't. Anyhow....

At this point I was still near the front of the group as we made a left turn to the section where a "free-for-all" was allowed. This section had a slight crosswind(no surprise)from the right, so the front of the group was spread out to the right and we were riding steady, I took my pull, pulled off and immediately as I pulled off there was an attack straight into the left gutter. The group started to string out and I was left in the middle of the road and struggling to find a wheel and was soon back with another group. Not the first time, not the last, nothing to write home about and pretty uneventful. I was just happy to be there, on the bike, in the wind, doing what I love. Riding.

Here is a list of a few guys I've had yell at me while riding.

• Andrej "the tank" Mierzejewski
• Steve Hegg
• Alexi Grewal
• Frank Vandenbroucke
• Frank Hoj
• Tomas Brozyna
• The Ukranian in Canada (he actually put me in a ditch) of all the guys who have yelled at me, I respect this guy the most. He had Golden teeth and was a complete tough guy. I often wonder where he is.
• Various French cyclists in Brittany
• Andrew "Metal Man" Danly- 2009 RAAM "SAFETY VEST!"
• Ryan Denner- 2009 RAAM, "WOOF!"
• Henk the SWIFT club president
• Shop owning sponsor guy

So, now that I know the "rules" of the Sunday ride I will hopefully be able to ride a conflict free and pleasant ride next Sunday. Of course the crosswind will probably have the same effect on me, but it won't be the first time, the last or the most unique crosswind. I know for a fact that pacelines and echelons, unlike the Dutch language, are not foreign to me and won't get lost in translation.